Tees Maar Khan
Director : Farah Khan (Seriously?!)
In the beginning of the film, we realize that Katrina's character is called Sheila Kijawani and the item song that's been ruling the charts suddenly seems so smartly contrived. It almost makes you expect better things, even as 'Shiela ki Jawani' gets done mere minutes into the film. But as the film proceeds, the naming of the character seems the smartest trick in the film. For TMK goes from bad to worse to worse to worse.
Tees Maar Khan is simply so bad that its hard to believe it comes from the same team that gave us 'Main Hoon Na' and 'Om Shanti Om'. The biggest loophole in TMK is its amateurish writing with dialogues that get absolutely dull. Akshay hammers on with the trailer dialogue that goes 'Tawaif ki loot ti izzat ko bachana, aur TMK ko pakadna namumkin hai'. The dialogues get so amazingly dull that you are forced to repeat the dialogue once more to say to yourself 'Tawaif ki loot ti izzat ko bachana, aur TMK ko doobne se bachana namumkin hai'.
Surprisingly, the premise for the story is pretty interesting. Inspired from 'After the Fox', a Hollywood comedy from the 60's, it involves a talented thief, Tabrez Mirza Khan(talented because his mum watched crime films when he was still in her womb) who's hired to rob an antiques-filled train. And yes, Tabrez Mirza Khan IS Tees Maar Khan, as he so painfully reminds us with those torturous, repetitive monologues. He carries out the heist on the pretext of making a Hollywood film with his wannabe actress girlfriend(Katrina Kaif)and an Oscar-desperate actor(Akshay Khanna) in the lead. Through the film, Tees Maar Khan uses an entire village to be his unknowing partners in crime. The rest of the movie is about the making of this phony film.
As this film-within-a-film concept unravels, you wonder which is the phony one - the one being made in the film or the one being shown on screen.
It is to be noted that Farah Khan passed on the writing baton to hubby Shirish Kunder and his brother and stuck to direction and choreography. And it is these two things that save the film from being an absolute disaster, because Farah manages to bring leeetle(and that's 3 e's) life to the movie with her trademark style and brilliant choreography. The two item songs and a funny Akshay Khanna sequence makes the film bearable pre-intermission. The 2nd half is amazingly stupid and remains so. The Kunder brothers have been claiming TMK to be their pet project for a long time, and now there is no doubt that it was. Shirish's previous 'masterpiece' - 'Jaan-e-man' could win a National Award in comparison to TMK.
Yes, its that bad.
If you manage to stay till then, the end credits are way more entertaining than the film, with the crew accepting Oscar awards. Talk about sarcasm. As far as acting is concerned, Akshay Kumar as Tees Maar Khan does nothing that he hasn't done in his previous shit-pieces. There is screaming, noise, confusion and Akshay prancing around in a self-made humor tutu. Absolutely nothing new. Katrina, however, fits in perfectly as the silly girlfriend/item girl/wannabe actress. There is nothing more that you expect from her anyway. Apart from the first two item numbers, Vishal-Shekhar's music is un-impressive. It almost seems like they got bored after catching the dull drift well within the film. The only thing that saves this film is its flashy, sharp direction which remains the only reminder that its a Farah Khan film.
An absolute waste of money.
I give it a 1.5/5.
Watch it only if you have nothing, ABSOLUTELY nothing to do. And rent a DVD.
In the beginning of the film, we realize that Katrina's character is called Sheila Kijawani and the item song that's been ruling the charts suddenly seems so smartly contrived. It almost makes you expect better things, even as 'Shiela ki Jawani' gets done mere minutes into the film. But as the film proceeds, the naming of the character seems the smartest trick in the film. For TMK goes from bad to worse to worse to worse.
Tees Maar Khan is simply so bad that its hard to believe it comes from the same team that gave us 'Main Hoon Na' and 'Om Shanti Om'. The biggest loophole in TMK is its amateurish writing with dialogues that get absolutely dull. Akshay hammers on with the trailer dialogue that goes 'Tawaif ki loot ti izzat ko bachana, aur TMK ko pakadna namumkin hai'. The dialogues get so amazingly dull that you are forced to repeat the dialogue once more to say to yourself 'Tawaif ki loot ti izzat ko bachana, aur TMK ko doobne se bachana namumkin hai'.
Surprisingly, the premise for the story is pretty interesting. Inspired from 'After the Fox', a Hollywood comedy from the 60's, it involves a talented thief, Tabrez Mirza Khan(talented because his mum watched crime films when he was still in her womb) who's hired to rob an antiques-filled train. And yes, Tabrez Mirza Khan IS Tees Maar Khan, as he so painfully reminds us with those torturous, repetitive monologues. He carries out the heist on the pretext of making a Hollywood film with his wannabe actress girlfriend(Katrina Kaif)and an Oscar-desperate actor(Akshay Khanna) in the lead. Through the film, Tees Maar Khan uses an entire village to be his unknowing partners in crime. The rest of the movie is about the making of this phony film.
As this film-within-a-film concept unravels, you wonder which is the phony one - the one being made in the film or the one being shown on screen.
It is to be noted that Farah Khan passed on the writing baton to hubby Shirish Kunder and his brother and stuck to direction and choreography. And it is these two things that save the film from being an absolute disaster, because Farah manages to bring leeetle(and that's 3 e's) life to the movie with her trademark style and brilliant choreography. The two item songs and a funny Akshay Khanna sequence makes the film bearable pre-intermission. The 2nd half is amazingly stupid and remains so. The Kunder brothers have been claiming TMK to be their pet project for a long time, and now there is no doubt that it was. Shirish's previous 'masterpiece' - 'Jaan-e-man' could win a National Award in comparison to TMK.
Yes, its that bad.
If you manage to stay till then, the end credits are way more entertaining than the film, with the crew accepting Oscar awards. Talk about sarcasm. As far as acting is concerned, Akshay Kumar as Tees Maar Khan does nothing that he hasn't done in his previous shit-pieces. There is screaming, noise, confusion and Akshay prancing around in a self-made humor tutu. Absolutely nothing new. Katrina, however, fits in perfectly as the silly girlfriend/item girl/wannabe actress. There is nothing more that you expect from her anyway. Apart from the first two item numbers, Vishal-Shekhar's music is un-impressive. It almost seems like they got bored after catching the dull drift well within the film. The only thing that saves this film is its flashy, sharp direction which remains the only reminder that its a Farah Khan film.
An absolute waste of money.
I give it a 1.5/5.
Watch it only if you have nothing, ABSOLUTELY nothing to do. And rent a DVD.
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Shoot!